Be Solid in Your Circle

Do you have a circle of friends? Or maybe you have only 1or 2 persons you would consider a “friend”.

How would you define a good friend? A solid friend?

We dive into part of the answer to those questions in this blog. Part of the answer can be found in the Book of Wisdom of the Bible. Proverbs 17:17 says “A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for a time of adversity.”

The phrase “at all times” denotes consistency and commitment. And ” a brother (or sister) being born for adversity” means during the hard times is when your family (blood related or not) is revealed.

Ok, so I predict that in your mind right now you are thinking about YOUR friends. You are reflecting on if THEY have “loved you at all times”. You are thinking about whether or not you have anyone in your life who has been a brother or sister in your time of adversity. You are considering if anyone in your life has lived up to the criteria outlined in this verse. Of course! It is imperative to make sure you are being loved and treated the way you should be by your friends!

But before we go any further, I have a challenge for you. I challenge you to not consider any of your friends or the people in your circle at all while reading this blog.

I want you to only think about yourself.

Yes, I want you to only consider yourself!

So when reading ” a friend loves at all times” I want you to ask yourself, Have I been that friend to others? When reading the 2nd part of this verse “a brother is born for a time of adversity.” Ask yourself, When my friend’s have experienced adversity have I shown myself to be a brother, a sister?

Here’s a valuable lesson; the only person you can control in this life is YOU. Your only job is to make sure you are operating in your full potential as a friend, a sister, a brother. Your only concern is how YOUR consistency and commitment aligns with this verse.

Now, since we established that this blog is about YOU. Let’s discuss those key words, consistency and commitment.

Consistency- Unchanging, something done the same way overtime

Commitment-dedication to a cause, activity or person, a pledge, a vow

So, in order to uphold that title of friend you must remain. You must last. You must endure. Loving at all times means that you, Friend, must love during the good, the bad and the indifferent times. It means that you, Friend, must remain during the ups and downs, trials and triumphs. You, Friend, must love and last. Friend, you must love at all times, not only during their glory but also in the midst of their humanity.

I know what you are thinking, Ok so I have to do all of this, what if they aren’t doing this for me? This is a valid and fair question. Here’s the thing, you can observe how others in your circle behave. You can take note of their character and patterns of behavior. With that information you can decide if this person is a good friend and you then decide how much to invest into them, what boundaries need to be set and discussions and conversations need to be had. But that does not excuse YOU from operating in love at all times.

So this is you time to reflect.

First reflect on your qualities as a friend, have you been living up to that high friendship standard in your friend group? Second reflect on the individuals you consider “friends” and see if they live up to the standard and respond accordingly.

Here’s a task for you. Call your friends, ask them “Have I been a good friend to you this year, have I been committed and consistent in your life?”

Be open and ready to hear what ever they say. This will be a humbling experience. Take note of their response and decide on how you can grow and improve.

The humility and vulnerability it took to ask your friends’ these questions will create an environment for them to ask you the same questions in return. You then have an opportunity to give feedback to your friend on their ability to be a good friend.

I promise you this exercise is a powerful tool. Your friendships will become stronger and more apt to last.

Strong friendships are a literal life saver. A strong committed friendship is edifying, encouraging, fulfilling and freeing.

These type of friendships are worth fighting for!

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